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Your shape reminds me of my ancestors
The curves in one unending loop of warmth
All of you. Curves.
The upturn of your lashes
The sly parentheses of your smile
The brightness in your eyes that climb forever up in rays of hallelujah

You have belonged to me as no one else has
There is nothing separate from you
As much as I may want to allow the distance to create some stability in my mind
My heart beats in staccato to remind me of your lacking rhythm

The world without you becomes a dull ache
Snippets of conversation aren’t as witty because I haven’t shared them with you
Notes of praise for another only lead me to think of how your triumphs reach higher

You are the slow caress of a Spanish guitar
You are the sparkling sidewalks from the night walks with my mother
You are the summer rain

And yet

I fall short in living up to my care for you
Words can sing lullabies to the soul, but they become mere wisps in the wind without an accompanying sway

I am sorry

My words fall leaden over the phone
I don’t know what to say or how to communicate
I am awkward and ungraceful
Yet you know my soul and decipher its meaning
I want to join you in your dance
However I cannot lose myself in the music
As much as my heart yearns for it

I fear that I will break you–
A beacon of strength broken by a twig
How curious is love?
I almost welcome the cold distance that has engulfed us in favor of you hating me
But then I think of losing you to indifference
And your hatred becomes love song by comparison