Word of the Week No. 6: Fuck It

As you can see, this week’s word is actually a phrase. Originally the word of the week was going to be “honesty,” but I realized that the influence of this week was a particular brand of honesty. It’s something not quite as pure and earnest as simple truth. It feels lurid and intoxicating because it is freedom in its truest sense. It defines the feeling when you know your godliness is shining and you decide to just be. It is the potent honesty of, “Fuck it.”

My journey on the Fuck It Path (FIP) began when I let go of fear in favor of my feelings, in all of their flawed glory. I decided to tell someone I am close to that our relationship was not serving me. I didn’t hold back to spare their feelings or keep things hidden only to hold them over their heads later (I’m a Scorpio rising, don’t judge me). The final outcome is yet to be determined, but it allowed for a mutual understanding that we had not known before. And more importantly, it felt fucking fantastic.

I tried to be more honest in other ways. Instead of saying “I’m fine,” when my coworkers asked, I told them “No, I’m not ok.” It was startling, I’m sure, but they took the lead that day and let me chill as opposed to me faking the funk and being irritable. I let out all my tears one day over lunch in a semi-fancy restaurant and didn’t care who stared. I agreed to sake bombs and “one more bar stop” with my younger sister and cousins on a weeknight. I went braless in public for the first time that it wasn’t necessary and felt godly. I started watching the new Netflix series The Get Down (review forthcoming) and watched how much people sacrificed for their passion and the integrity of their art, which, in essence, is the integrity of their souls. It reminded me of how nervous I was to release the BLM responses video but decided to do it anyway because it was how I felt. It’s been my most successful video to date. I recognized how much simpler and more enjoyable life is when I’m living it for me. The FIP is the roadmap to authenticity. [Aww shit, that rhymed.]

So, how do you wield the power of “Fuck it” in your own life? Lead with your truth in mind first. Think of what you most naturally feel and put that ahead of fear and ahead of what you think others want from you. You can decide not to honor that truth and that may be the best decision for you in that moment. That’s fine, as long as you make sure you take at least one moment to be aware of what your truth is. If you make the decision to put something ahead of that feeling, that is your prerogative, but if you don’t even know what you feel about the situation, you can wind up betting against yourself your whole life. This week, I decided to lead with my truth even when it wasn’t what I thought it should be. Even when it hurt me to admit it. Even when it scared the shit out of me. And I’ve never felt so much like the highest version of myself. Get you some “Fuck it” in your life and watch your truest self emerge.