Word of the Week No. 5: Perspective

This past week, I’ve been reflecting on the importance of perspective. We speak about objectivity and what the undebatable “truth” of a situation may be. The common saying goes, “There are three sides to every story: yours, theirs, and the truth.” And sure, there are certain objective facts we could pull out in any given story– the physical reality of where you were, the sequence of events–but what is often missed is that each person’s side of the story is the truth from their perspective.

The way people make sense of their situations is completely dependent upon who they are, including their histories, temperament, insecurities, motivations, etc. Two people can look at the same objective fact and derive two completely different meanings. People proceed with the premise that their counterpart is assigning the same beliefs and meanings to the subject at hand, which is often not the case. Their perspective determines their “objective” truth. So, when discussing something (or especially when arguing about something), things can become really heated because people believe they are defending an absolute truth. What the other person is saying is threatening their reality.

This also applies to how we see ourselves. Our perspective on our journey in this life can be misleading if we don’t take time to approach it from multiple angles. Where we envision ourselves on the path to success becomes our reality, despite where we may actually be. I’ve spoken about my tendency to get caught up in benchmarks instead of being grounded in the process. Without the external markers of progression, I start to question whether or not I’m moving, which makes me doubt myself. Although I know in the back of my mind I need to just tough it out and keep grinding, sometimes it’s hard to find the motivation.

When I get stuck in these ruts, I’ve found that assessing my situation from a different perspective helps me to find purpose again. By this, I don’t mean, “Just think of all the people who wish they were where you are!” I see why people may find value in that, but when I’m really feeling down on myself, I don’t wanna hear that shit. Why would anyone want to be where I am when I’m feeling so low? Plus, I don’t like to participate in comparison. What is for you is yours and what is for me is uniquely mine. Thinking of how I’m in a better position than others has me looking down when I’m trying to climb.  

Instead, continuing with the climbing analogy, I think of my experience driving up a mountain. [Yes, I said driving, not hiking, and you will NOT judge me dammit!] I was driving on these flat winding roads wondering when I would reach my destination. There was little to no indication of how high up I was because there were trees obscuring my view. When I finally got to the top, it was a really surreal experience to look down. It didn’t seem like I should have been able to get that high up because the incline was imperceptible on those winding roads.
It may feel like you’re not moving or growing much when your work doesn’t seem to be yielding any results. During these times, look down. Look back at the person you were six months ago, 1 year ago, 3 years ago. You have grown from where you used to be. Even if you’re nowhere near your goal yet, it’s likely you’ve made great strides compared to where you once were. Tasks that took you three hours before only take one hour now. You discovered you had been doing something wrong for awhile so you saw poor results, but you’ve finally trained yourself to do it the right way. Maybe you didn’t even know what your dream was three years ago, and now you’re at least doing something about it. When we take a step back to look at our current circumstance from a different perspective, we can find strength in the fact that we are growing. Take a bird’s eye view of your life and take a moment to assess your personal mountain. Remembering the journey up makes you appreciate your view that much more.